Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
