well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
