Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
