My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
