oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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