y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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