never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have aggressive nipples.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
