The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
