i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
