so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
