A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want her autograph on my taint
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
