who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
