i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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