i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
