how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize