I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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