He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
