he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
