K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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