My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
