It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
