I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
