I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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