I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize