you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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