So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
