shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
