Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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