Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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