that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
