I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
