Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize