She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
