Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
