Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
