I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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