yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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