Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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