no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
