I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
