Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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