i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
