im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
