i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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