I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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