Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
