1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
