so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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