do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
