Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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