some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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