Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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