Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
