I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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