I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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