O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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