3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nicole vs. Life
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
