sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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