who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
