I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
