I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
