M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
