My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
